Have you ever read the book “The Tipping Point” by Malcolm Gladwell, which shows how very tiny actions can produce huge results? Well, here are some Strategic Intervention stories to make you think:
* One of our students who transformed her career using… a cup of tea?
* How Cloe and Tony helped a couple transform their adult son – without him even meeting Tony or Cloe
Have you ever wondered why so many decisions we make end up backsliding, while other changes we make (or others make) take root and grow, changing everything around them? Well, it’s kind of simple. The solutions that work are reinforced by certain laws of change, the kind where one small gesture is exactly what is needed to transform a whole situation. If you’ve read “The Tipping Point” you know there are certain actions that are 100X more powerful than any other to create a chain reaction of change. Let’s look at some examples from our work at Robbins-Madanes.
Story #1: “How a cup of tea transformed my career”
A few months ago, Cloe and I were on a call with a student named Tara who was a dental hygienist in a busy office of over 20 people. Tara’s leadership position had been growing for months, and people now came to her regularly for her advice.
She had a big problem though…
The problem was a female hygienist, a “large masculine woman” who insulted the staff, bullied Tara and regularly threatened her leadership position. If you know anything about office dynamics , you’ll know sometimes one person can take up 80% of your leadership efforts- and can undermine your leadership 80% of the time! For Tara, this lady was a time bomb.
In Tara’s words, “I will not let her bully me even if I am half her size… but how does one get her to change her attitude of being a bully, she’s always ready to dish out insults and say “well that is who I am and if you don’t like it, then too bad.”
Well, Cloe’s recommendation was a little unusual. She mentioned that in some cultures (the hygienist was from Iran) actions speak louder than words. Cloe advised Tara to shift the woman’s behavior in a simple way… by making her a cup of tea.
A cup of tea? That’s going to solve Tara’s #1 workplace problem?
Yeah, right.
But that’s what Cloe advised Tara to do.
Well, Tara’s someone that takes advice and puts it into action. We heard back from her within 24 hours! She said:
“Cloe, I wanted to say thank you. Your advice and directive worked. This morning I brought in fresh tea and immediately offered the hygienist to make her a cup of my jasmine tea. She immediately embraced me with a hug and said I was her BFF again. She liked the tea and said it made her feel good. I will use this strategy for the rest of the team. Thank you Thank you Thank you.”
Within 24 hours of asking her question, and really within 15 minutes of applying Cloe’s advice, Tara had a workplace strategy that will serve her for months to come. So guess what happened next? Tara got the reputation in the office of being THE person who can solve ANYONE’s problem. Within months she was promoted to office manager.
How did Cloe know that a “cup of tea” would work? In every culture there are some gestures that are more powerful than any other. If you understand what these are, you can have tremendous influence.
Story #2: How Tony and Cloe helped a couple reconcile with their adult son… without his even knowing it.
Tony Robbins and Cloe Madanes were onstage together demonstrating how to do a coaching session with a couple. In the audience were over 5,000 therapists and social workers at a professional conference. The couple they were coaching were themselves successful therapists. The primary presenting problem was that they fought about money issues.
Now, if someone comes in complaining about money, many coaches would focus on money as the core challenge. Not Tony and Cloe. As soon as they asked about the money issue, they learned there was a relationship issue. Once the relationship issue was on the table, the couple mentioned the husband’s adult son from a previous marriage, who had taken a bad road in life, and this was a deep source of pain for everybody. So what started off as a financial disagreement had morphed into a “deep” family issue. At this point, many coaches or consultants would be totally lost, right?
Now here’s what’s great. Tony and Cloe spent an hour with the couple. They repaired the money disagreement. They strengthened the couple’s relationship (even their sex life). They even did a few minutes of bodywork with the couple. (All of this live onstage, remember). And they helped the couple on how to approach the adult stepson.
And, amazingly: The couple went home. Their relationship transformed. Their passion improved. The money issues were overcome… and within a few months, the adult son turned round his life, got a job, got married, and just bore the couple their first grandchild. This after one hour with Tony and Cloe!
That’s Strategic Intervention. It solves problems you’re not always able to articulate, and it “fixes” people who are not even present at the intervention. Systemic solutions don’t fade with time. SI solutions build over time and improve the lives of people in your circle. And you know what? 90% of coaches, consultants, and experts don’t think systemically. They would have focused on the presenting problem – the financial disagreement. They would have negotiated between the couple about money, or worked on their financial goals, or analyzed their spending. And without getting profound results – because they would have missed the Core Challenge that made all the difference.
You’ve GOT to be able to address your client’s Core Challenge. If you can do that, you’ll create massive changes. You’ll have a confidence in your soul that you know how to contribute to anybody. And that real, dirt-level confidence will bring tons of clients and professional success.
So many coaches come to us, freshly trained by various programs, and say “I’m lost! I have the book knowledge, but I have no idea how to really help real clients.” Why does that happen? Because we don’t always learn from words. We learn from experiences. You have to live through something, feel it, experience it, for it to sink in and become a skill within you. For hundreds of years the top practitioners in any profession were the ones who were able to observe other great practitioners directly, right? So here’s an Experience for you today: Tony and Cloe working with that couple onstage I just talked about. Watch and see how Tony and Cloe honed in on the core challenge to create not only change for the couple, but for their whole family.
Whatever challenge is greatest in your life, no matter whether it’s at home, workplace, or anywhere else, there is a “tipping point” solution right there. For a Strategic Interventionist, every interaction is full of potential tipping points. Those solutions set other solutions in motion, and you change dozens of lives in profound ways.
What an awesome, mind opening video – how many of us shut people out because we have issues on the inside of us and when we allow ourself to speak out and work as a loving team all things are possible.
I have a mate that is my soul. I see how blessed I am and how connected we are. Of course there is always room for approvement in every relationship. He still makes my heart skip a beat.
I am a married man in my 40s, disabled and severely overweight. my wife is overweight as well. Financially, we are in a bad way.
My #1 item I want to overcome….(First)
I have fought with an addiction to porn for half my life and want it gone from my life. 30 days is about the longest I have gone without a slip into viewing it. This is a Internet only issue and no chat or other interactive actions or clubs.
Where is my problem really coming from?
Simply …Amazing ^_^
Very very Good!!!
I love seeing surprise endings, this was an incredible turnaround!
Hi am with a wonderful man, hes funny, intelligent handsome interesting and very caring. We have been together for around 4.5 years. We don’t live together but he has offered to share rent of a house if i move closer to town to help me out before i buy a place. I would just like to settled down with him but he has never been able to this with anyone so far and he is now 44. He is not very good at showing his feelings verbally and he finds it hard to express himself on an intimate level which i find a bit hard sometimes to really know how he feels.
I can see and feel at times he feels very close to me and its obvious he is very fond of me so that at least says something.
We are very close, we have a lot of fun together and yet he has an old record statement playing that comes up when i want to move to the next level and he says -” im in 2 minds about being in a relationship with anyone and the reason is i have all these things i want to do and im fearful that im running out of time to do them. If i get into a relationship i will find myself trapped into doing things i dont want to do”. I feel i give him plenty of freedom to do the things he wants to do and im good with it. I like my freedom too.
Possible issues for non commitment are
1. Maybe im just not the right one
2.He does have a heart condition but he is very healthy and looks after himself so all going well he will have a fairly long life.
3. He lost a girlfriend to cancer about 10 years ago
4. I know he was very badly hurt by someone once but he wont talk about it.
This man makes me smile but i dont want to be with some one who is afraid to enter into a committed relationship or be with someone if i am not right for them and im not sure if its both of the above, one of them or none and hes just scared. Its great being with him but so sad when i cant feel we can grow together.
Love to get some advice on how to deal with this he is very important to me
exelente trabajo, me ayodo mucho en lo personal, me identifico mucho con el caso, tengo tarea que realizar. gracias y felicidades tony and cloe
It’s wonderful to see how you walk people through finding their own solutions to problems, problems they were unable to face because they couldn’t even discrimanate the real problems. I love it because when i see what you are doing i feel there is hope for all the people suffering in the world,so it can be a better place to all of us and to the new generations, thank you Maria Elena
What a great video! It’s just amazing how big a shift one can make when asked the right questions! Very inspirering!- thanks for sharing!
It is an inspiring video – thank you so much !!
Thank you so much Tony and Cloe for sharing your wisdom about love and relationships. I am comitted to being the best man for my girl and to give to and contribute to others. thanks again!
Oh ! God ….that was Awe-inspiring
Thank you so much for sharing it.
Watching this video touched my heart tremendously.Specially because I have two daughters from different fathers.Very inspiring.I’am so bless to have them in my life.
….leaves me speechless…… there really are no words to adequately describe the impact of this video…
Thank you so much for making this difference in the lives of so many. And for sharing this wisdom.
Some people in the behavioral health field call this “Motivational Interviewing” … definitely an art and science to this technique and both Tony and Cloe are the Picasso’s and Einstein’s of the process …
This is truly amazing. Tony how masterful you are I love the interactions with Cloe and her wisdom. Thank you for your work and contribution.
Great video, shows the power of love and how we can overcome our mental differences through the heart. Great strategies.
This video is very inspiring. I was very moved by it. Thank you for sharing it!
Dear Tony, Dear Cloe,
I tremendeously enjoyed watching “The Tipping Point”in everyday life ( New Robbin’s Madanes Video)I had tears in
my eyes watching how Tony and Cloe coached O.and S.I think
you are wonderful Tony to see how quickly you can make
people happy again.Fantastic work.
Bless you
In gratitude and love
Traudi
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and wonderful strategies!
“One person caring about another repesents life’s greatest value”
Jim Rohn
Always inspiring, always something to learn, always heartfeeling. Thank you.
Brillant…..I, like Tony Robbins did much of the same in th e 80′s where I read studied and sought out knowledge to grow physically, mentally, emmotionally and spiritually through all avenues and resources. However, Tony Robbins and Cloe are Brillant in the way they put it all together.
This is the most optimistic method I have ever seen and I know it is changing my heart and working for me.
The old forms of counseling or physco therapy were too time consumming and costly and they were not very effective in empowering them to change themselevs or their relationships.
Hi Tony and Cloe,
I am so grateful for the videos that i have the greatest pleasure to watcheveryday.. i am deeply touched by all your interventions you really no how to help peple.. I remember holding my 3 month old baby watching Tony on tv at 3am when i was 18 yrs old, and being so inspired.. and not having the money to order the tapes..now i am 43yr old and he still moves me i bought the cd about 6yrs ago and shamefuly never got thru 3days.. I just reorderd the cd and im still waiting for the order cause somehow im missing some of the cd’s from 6yrs ago..i cant wait to get started.. Thank you again these videos are so heartfelt<3
Love happy endings!!!
Dear Cloe and Tony,
Your work is truly inspiring. My wife and I just celebrated our 10 anniversary, we are enjoying a wonderful marriage while being best friends as well. But through this video I did realize that there is still sooo much room for improvment even the best relationship and to bring it to another level just by implementing a few things as you have shown us in this story. Thank you for sharing your wisdom so freely with all of us.
You do amazing work and I’m glued to the screen every time you sent me something. You always seem to get to the core of the issues and help to resolve it with humor, finding explanations and not excuses. Thank you!!!
Thank you Tony and Cloe, Thank you for posting that video and giving us a chance to see it….
This video helps me a lot!!!
Thank you and God bless you!!!
nancy
changing beliefs, changing their words, EFT and so much more… I absolutely loved this and always am very grateful for these video’s! Very moving which gives hope, no matter the state of the world love & understanding is the ultimate protector!
The darkness flees from the tiniest of light.
Much love
-Nathan Scheer
Health & Economics of America
http://www.simranjeet.com
Our Family Orphan Communities
http://www.orphancommunities.com
Tony & Cloe
You are such great teachers! Thank you for making my relationship better and life better.Please keep making these videos. We hope to attend one of your seminars one day.
With great gratitude!!!
Hi Cloe, Tony and Mark:
I’m a coach and I just LOVE to see your videos. I hope one day I’ll be able to make such a difference in people lives as you do, guys. I’ve been crying during the 70 minutes of this training! I trust so much into Love that I find it amazing to see how you manage to help two partners understand each other and really commit. Beautiful.
Thank you SO much for being so inspiring.
Anne Baurain
Coaching para Mujeres Creativas y Emprendedoras
Canary Islands
Spain
BIG THANK YOU, i wanted to see some of Tony’s videos for long time,,,,, so i really appreciate the fact that we are able to view some of them here,,, truly amazing, very happy to have the chance enjoy these gifts,, ta very much. with much love
from a fan
Thank you thank you thank youu thank you
I just cried my heart and soul out and feel a lot of healing in me. The only feeling which is still left, will I be able to hold on to it.
thanks so much for your incredible work and sharing this with the world, we need more people like you out there and I would love to become one of them very soon.
Together we can change the world to a better what it always was supposed to be. LOVE – JOY – HAPPINESS – LIVING NOW
thank you
This freakin tall guy is Good.. Amazing content Tony
This video spoke to me tremendously. I forwarded it to my husband too. I am looking forward to watch it with him and put me and him there in the interaction with you both and see what happens… I believe the solutions and the willingness will grow in our hearts through love and creativity given by God
Thank you so much for sharing this video and all the other ones that I was able to watch so far. I am a counselour since 19 years old. Kind of a life mission. I work in a rehab home for women, as a volunteer, once a week for 5 years now as a group counselour. Learned some nuggets of the systemic approach with a close physicologist friend and many courses I did in the course of 30 years, and of course life experience… Never seen anything like what you guys have to give!!!! I am ready to receive so I can be more complete and give even more into the lives of those that I have the opportunity to give. I want to do the training program and I wanted to know if you guys offer any kind of scholarship. We are in the construction business and our finances right now are upside down with debts, not only because of the economic crises but also major long term marital issues. I see a light on the end of the tunnel though. Thank you again for the channel of inspiration and hope that you all are. Thank you for being a “Tipping Point” in my life and so many lives. I want to be able to help people more effectively. So I am looking forward to your answer since today at midnight is the sign up dead line.
Dear Tony, Cloe and Mark,
Thank you so much for sharing this video and all the other ones that I was able to watch so far. I am a counselour since 19 years old. Kind of a life mission. I work in a rehab home for women, as a volunteer, once a week for 5 years now as a group counselour. Learned some nuggets of the systemic approach with a close physicologist friend and many courses I did in the course of 30 years, and of course life experience… Never seen anything like what you guys have to give!!!! I am ready to receive so I can be more complete and influence even more the lives of those that I have the opportunity to give. I want to do the training program so I can help people more effectively and amybe do what I love to do 24/7. Thank you again for the channel of inspiration and hope that you all are. Thank you for being a “Tipping Point” in my life and so many lives.
Adelaide Dahora
These teachings are more important than money. This applies to any relationship in life. I wish businesses would learn these teachings as well.
There is no need to add something to this comments. Everything I stand for has been said already
Only I can speak out my gratitude for this great movie. Have seen several and hope many more to come.
With the help of you guys, we all can contribute to make this world a much better place!
Viv Koning. Belgium.
Wow… Your message is profound in that it quickly cuts to core.
Thank you so much for sharing this extraordinary training video. I have watched it twice, and will continue until I feel that I have truly learned it. I have benefitted enormously from the Robbins-Madanes training films.
My committed relationship with a very masculine man is so much happier, easier, and deeper for both of us. I hope to be able to carry my new understandings into my professional practice.
With thanks and awe!
Thank you for the generosity of sharing this treasure of video. It helped me A TON!!!!! This video brought me so much awareness. It made me laugh, because I realised that I was doing stupid things to call my husband attention. Hahaha, I realised I need to be more connected with my self, instead of looking and bothering him for attention. He’ll be surprise to ‘listen’ to my silence and absence of tantrums and nagging. Poor thing… hahahahaha, I can’t stop laughing!!!!Thank you thank you thank you!!!!
Love continues to be the universal healing thread that sews together that which seems impossible to mend. Thank you for the opportunity to witness the loving skill with which each stitch was so beautifully sewn to bring the fabric of Susanne’s and Olie’s lives closer together.
My own heart, too, is singing a grateful tune to Tony, Cloe, Susanne and Olie for a few holes mended….How wonderful! And I am looking forward to learning and growing more as time goes on and sharing what I learn to bring more love into my life and the lives of others. I am deeply moved. Thank you so much!
Great video every couple should watch, even if they do not think they have any issues.
I am a great admirer of Tony’s work since the 1980′s. He has transformed the lives of many by helping individuals see and access the real unlimited power they possess inside. I have listened to his tapes/CDs, read all his books and attended two of his seminars where I have witnessed great transformations. I have so much respect for him because of what he has done and continues to do. His charisma is something to be experienced not described.
Cloe has done an excellent job narrating the videos which enhances the educational aspect of the session(s).
I would like to thank both of you for sharing your work and making a difference. I look forward to watching others.
I want to go for it. I has been working in the New spirituality teaching since 2003. And I have noticed this changes in people happens also with A course of miracles or practice the principles of CWG “Conversations with God”. Not so quick, but in the practice of 365 days at least. But I always wondered myself, how can I do this?, without mention the word “spirituality”, that at the first shocks everybody, making the relation with religiosity, Christian, catholic or God.
Some times vocabulary is a barrier to open people to recognize “Love”, that is the truly matter. Not facts evolving the issue.
I would like to study the training you work by Internet. I am an instructor of arts of peace, Mexican women, 52 years old. I wish I could be better everyday, loving me, supporting me and my needs and helping others. Thank you for making me feel tremendous touched. Thanks you really!
Thank you so much, your videos are so inspiring everyone has brought me from laughter to tears and back to laughter. I hope one day to have some time with Tony he is the true master. Thank you again for allowing us to see these for free and to enhance our own journey.
What a gorgeous person Suzanna is. I learned alot from her wiilingness to show Olli ‘lets do this!!’. She is so open to making things work with so much love in her heart.
Tony, what an incredible, kind understanding, insightful and brilliant person you are. You help so much from the debth of your heart and have such a wonderful warmth about you …. You never made either of them or your colleague feel small or belittled at any point. What an amaizingly perseptive person you are!!! I am so glad my fried Paula Chrystello has introduced you to me. Hopefully one day I can attend your seminars!! Thanks a million to all of you.
Terry
What a gorgeous person Suzanna is. I learned alot from her wiilingness to show Olli ‘lets do this!!’. She is so open to making things work with so much love in her heart.
Tony, what an incredible, kind understanding, insightful and brilliant person you are. You help so much from the debth of your heart and have such a wonderful warmth about you …. You never made either of them or your colleague feel small or belittled at any point. What an amaizingly perseptive person you are!!! I am so glad my fried has introduced you to me. Hopefully one day I can attend your seminars!! Thanks a million to all of you.
With loving kindness
Terry
I salute you both for diving in to the “hearts” of every human beeing, finding the root cause of the problem, and finding solution. I really congratulate you both from the bottom of my heart. Its really the Divine Power in you both which reflects into action. Let the community enjoy your activity.
Thank you so so very much, Love you for your inkredible giving, dear Tony and Cloe.
Gratitude from Greece, Tania Sivatsi.
This was an endearing video. Thank you
Thanks a lot again for this new video. Each time I fınd new way to open the gate for real goal.
Thanks for sharing this gift as free.
This series of instructional videos around the core human needs have been pure gold. As a coach who is starting out on her journey I am able to watch the approaches and skills adopted and used by Tony and Cloe and model model them to achieve outstanding results in a rapid sure fire way, this is a massive short cut to excellence and I thank you profoundly for that, it is such a gift. It has been a genuine privilege to hang with you guys and to share in the wisdom, generosity of spirit and beauty of these sacred moments share through such incredibly human interactions. Morena Milani Melbourne Australia.